shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
