I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
