Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
