somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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