We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
