Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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