dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
