Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
