Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Found the puke drawer
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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