I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
