his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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