their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
