somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
