Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
