Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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