My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
