the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
