Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
