What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
