remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize