Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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