I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize