Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Your penis caused this!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
