OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
