That's intense
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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