I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
