the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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