Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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