I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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