I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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