I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
