I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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