Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
