I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
