ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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