If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
