My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
