Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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