ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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