Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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