I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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