Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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