i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
