i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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