My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
