singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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