whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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