so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
