Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
