Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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