just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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