i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
