Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
