If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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