the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
