dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
